


das Feuer wäscht die Seele rein

by moon_waves



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Fluff, Herzeleid Era, M/M, Stones Skipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 19:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21397153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_waves/pseuds/moon_waves
Summary: It was the summer before the release of their first album, and Paul was in love.
Relationships: Paul Landers/Till Lindemann
Comments: 9
Kudos: 51





	das Feuer wäscht die Seele rein

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for **fruhlinginparis**!!! Happy birthday love, hope you'll enjoy this little piece ❤️.

_Schwerin, July 1995._

“A bit more on the right and you’re definitely going to hit the ducks,” Till mumbled, and Paul turned to glare at him, feeling the tip of his ears redden – and certainly not because of the sun shining upon them.

“My aim isn’t _that_ bad,” he hissed before turning his attention back onto the lake, focusing on the ducks that were quacking over the cool water, not paying any attention to the humans scattered on the shore.

Okay, he might have missed his target by a couple of meters – _might_ have – but like hell he was going to admit it!

He shifted on the grass and picked another stone, weighting it thoughtfully before turning his head again to look at his friend, hesitating between asking for his opinion or just going ahead with his – rather poor, so far – attempts at skipping stones over the lake.

Till raised an eyebrow at him, looking fairly nonplussed, before putting his arm over his eyes again, shielding himself from the sun that was intensely gleaming over them. Paul’s ears reddened a little more as he took advantage of his position to stare at him, taking his time to admire the shirtless masculine body spread out on the grass next to him.

Till was handsome, not in the way people usually thought of when talking about male handsomeness, but in the way the countryside could be – rough and intimidating to a forgetful novice, yet revealing its secret beauty to those who had the patience to look for it, _really_ look for it, and not expect for something common to appear and reveal itself.

It wasn’t exactly a rare occasion for Paul to see him shirtless, but here and now, where Till looked more at peace with the world – and with himself – than usual, where they were mostly alone while their friends – bandmates, and wasn’t it _strange_, to think of new people as his _bandmates_ – were roughhousing by themselves far away from them… well, those moments were rare, and he intended to make the best out of it.

“Your aim is decent for a city boy,” Till added after a few moments of silence, a smile warming his voice, not moving his arm from his eyes, and Paul felt himself blush, his cheeks on fire.

Curse his pale Berliner skin – his emotions showed so easily, and he didn’t want to have to explain why he was so _flustered_. 

He could always blame it on the sun, if it ever came down to it, but Till didn’t seem intent to look at him – or anything else – anymore, and Paul was content to just look at him, not even trying to defend his aim anymore.

What was the point anyway? He and Till both knew he wasn’t very good at it, so it wasn’t the way to go if he wanted to impress him – but then again, Till had known him for long enough to not be impressed by his usual tricks…

“Aren’t you going to try again?” Till finally asked after silence stretched out between them, Paul playing with a few strands of grass.

He shrugged, torn between playing it cool and just being himself without putting up a front.

“It’s not as fun if I don’t have your opinion on my hits, and you look too comfortable to move a finger, right now,” he said truthfully.

Doom’s loud laughter carried until them and he turned his head to look at their friends, his face morphing into a confused expression as he took in their positions. Oh, they had been roughhousing just fine, all four of them, but now he couldn’t quite say where one began and one ended. He spotted Scholle’s short spiky hair, one lean arm that definitely belonged to Flake and then Ollie’s fluffy mane, but those were the only recognizable elements – from that distance at least.

“Lake’s the other way,” Till said quietly, and Paul shifted to turn back towards him, already forgetting about the others.

Till’s green eyes were peering at him from under his arm and his cheeks burned again. His pants stuck to his sweaty skin and he rearranged himself absent-mindedly, a bit unsure of himself under Till’s piercing gaze.

Oh, how the tables had turned – it used to be Till who was quiet and a bit clumsy in front of him, back when they had first met, when Feeling B was at the height of its glory, but these days, it seemed like his words escaped him every time he was a little too long on his own with Till and Till only.

It had made recording their first album quite an _interesting_ experience for sure, but thankfully no one else had noticed – except maybe Flake, but Flake could read everyone in a heartbeat, if he put his mind to it, and he knew him better than the back of his hand anyway.

Doom was still laughing and he threw the rock with more force than was necessary for it to hit the water in multiple rebounds, instead just hitting the water once before disappearing into the lake.

“Doesn’t it get boring for you? To watch me try and fail every time?” Paul asked curiously, forgetting about the stone as he moved to sit right next to Till.

The sun was behind him and he took off his shirt in an annoyed move, sick of feeling it stick to his skin. He knew he was probably going to get a sunburn if he stayed out there without putting any sunscreen, but like hell he was going to move from his spot just to get that stupid tube!

“Perseverance is a quality, not a flaw,” Till said slowly, still staring at him.

His eyes were so _green_ – and shining almost like a cat’s, shadows hitting them just so that he could see sparkles of gold in them. He could lose himself in those eyes, he knew it – so green, and intense, and somehow they reminded him of spring in Russia, and at the same time of the sea, when one could let themselves fall prey to the waves, gently, never straying too far from the sand…

_“Paul.”_

Blinking, he realized that Till was nudging him with his knee now, a look of faint of confusion on his face.

His face flared up and he realized he had gotten lost in his daydreaming – _again_ – and at the worst possible time.

_For once_, a voice that suspiciously sounded like Flake’s sneered in his mind, and he shook his head, hand moving to ruffle his hair to give himself some countenance.

“Sorry, you were saying?” he mumbled, more than aware that his cheeks had turned crimson – and blaming it on the sun would probably fall flat, this time.

“You can go join the others, if you’re bored,” Till said in return, a frown slowly appearing on his face.

Paul frowned, disconcerted, before realizing he only had a few seconds to save himself – an _idiot_, he was an idiot, and he wasn’t going to protest next time Flake called him one, because he was right.

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t what you were saying,” he pointed out before reaching for new strands of grass and starting to play with them, absent-mindedly turning them into a little braid. “Besides, I like it better here, with you. I would already have moved there, otherwise.”

Till’s frown disappeared and he looked surprisingly bashful, for a moment, before delight slowly appeared on his face. He seemed to be a lot younger and more innocent all of a sudden, and Paul felt a wave of protectiveness surge through him at the sight, butterflies flying in his stomach.

He was so screwed.

“I’m glad,” Till said quietly before moving into a sitting position, brushing away his hair.

Paul’s eyes followed a bead of sweat rolling from his temple down the line of a sharp cheekbone before it fell on the grass – and then he looked at Till again, who was staring at the lake with a thoughtful expression.

His profile was even more beautiful than usual in the bright summer light and Paul felt his heart miss a beat at the sight.

“Your wrist needs to be laxer,” Till said after a time before turning his head to look at him, looking even more at ease now than before.

Paul shrugged again, trying to keep his cool – he was failing terribly at it, he knew it, but at least no one was here to witness his embarrassment, especially not Flake.

(He already had enough material to tease him until the next _century_, at least.)

“You should show me how to do it, then,” he said with a little smirk, glad he managed to regain some of his composure.

Till laughed a little at that, before moving to kneel down behind him, one hand on his waist and the other cupping his right hand, fingers resting on top of one another. Paul turned redder than crimson, all too aware of the proximity of Till’s body, and he bit his lips to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth – as he was usually prone to in that kind of situation.

“You should hold the stone like this,” Till was saying in his ear, a few errand strands of hair brushing against his forehead as they bent down to take a rock.

Till’s hand was calloused on top of his own, already marked by his time as a carpenter and a basket weaver – and years of playing with drumsticks – but he quite liked the feeling against his skin, carefully folding it away for future use.

(Daydream. Future _daydream_.)

“Relax your wrist a little,” Till went on, tugging on his arm to get him in proper position, apparently not realizing he was getting distracted again.

“I’m going to lose that damn stone if I relax any more,” Paul mumbled, heartbeat spiking up when Till laughed in his ears, his breath warm on his cheeks.

He shifted on the grass, trying to discreetly rearranged himself in his pants – now was _not_ the time for a boner, no matter what his blood might be thinking.

“Just… focus on what I do,” Till whispered against his ear, holding onto his waist to keep his equilibrium before throwing the stone against the calm surface of the lake, apparently indifferent to the turmoil Paul was just thrown into.

It bounced once, twice, three and then four times before dropping down, huge circles rapidly appearing where it had fallen, the resonance hitting the ducks which quacked loudly before swimming away – if it was to avoid it or find some shade, well, Paul didn’t know, and frankly he didn’t care.

“See? It wasn’t so difficult, was it?” Till said with a small smile in his voice, shifting ever so that now he was half-kneeling and half-sitting next to Paul, still holding onto his wrist, fingers drifting against the sensible skin of his back.

He was going to get one hell of a sunburn, he knew it, but it was more than worth it – so much contact? It was enough for him to celebrate, later.

“You made it look really easy,” Paul said in a hoarse voice, knowing his cheeks were still red and that his pants were clinging too much to his skin for him to be comfortable, but he didn’t care.

Till’s eyes were twinkling again and he felt himself fall in love again.

(He might have fought it at first, might have thought it was just lust mixed with friendship, but self-denial could only get him so far, and it was more fair to Till – to both of them, really – to be honest about the whole matter, even if it was just in the privacy of his mind.)

“You should try it, now,” Till said, fingers resting against his back, their thighs pressed closed together.

“I think you should lead my hand again,” Paul said in return in a low voice, raising an eyebrow, heart beating a little faster at his daring words.

Till’s face mirrored his expression, a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips before moving back to kneel behind him, the hand on his back moving to his waist one more time.

The gesture was setting his nerves on fire, and he wondered – not for the first time – if there was a chance of his feelings to be returned. He had been rather obvious so far, and had yet to be shot down, so…

“Pick a stone that’s a bit smaller,” Till instructed in his ear as he bent down to get a rock, barely paying attention to the one he had picked.

It was round and cool against his skin and he closed his hand around the stone, more than aware he was shaking slightly under Till’s hold.

“Relax a little,” Till whispered in his ear, hand slowly moving from his waist to his stomach, goosebumps rising in his wake – and he either didn’t seem to notice Paul’s reaction, or simply didn’t care about it.

Or _maybe_ he was enjoying it, and then…

Paul tentatively moved his wrist a few times, clenching and unclenching it until he felt Till’s hand over his wrist relax a little, giving him more leeway while still being present, a feathery touch setting his nerves on fire.

The ducks were still quacking on the other side of the lake and a faint buzz of excitement was slowly growing in his veins, electrifying everything in its wake.

He threw the rock and it bounced, once, twice, before going down in its third hit.

“Nice,” Till whispered in his ear, squeezing his waist a little before letting go of his wrist.

Paul was a bit sorry to feel him move away, until he realized Till was now laying down on the grass, one leg pressed against his back, one arm shadowing his eyes again. His left hand was still resting upon Paul’s thigh, a warm weight that sent sweat down his spine for reasons that had nothing to do with the weather.

“Do it again”, Till instructed, gazing at him with an intense stare, and Paul nodded, still blushing furiously, blood beating to his temples.

His next attempt wasn’t any better, too distracted by the proximity of Till’s body as he was. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relax – or at least regain some control over himself, even with Till patting his thigh in encouragement. He hit the water three more times afterwards, satisfaction surging through his veins. He raised his arms in victory, a shout escaping him before he turned towards Till, who was looking at him with a mix of amusement and fondness on his face, eyes twinkling behind his raised hand.

His other hand was still resting on top of Paul’s thigh, and he was careful not dislodge it.

“See?” he said quietly, gently nudging his knee against Paul’s back, sending a thrill of excitement down his spine.

“Yeah, you were right,” Paul said simply in return, squeezing his thigh in a bold gesture that left little doubt to his intention.

The position was a bit awkward but he did not miss the faint blush on Till’s cheeks at the gesture, nor the way his eyes darkened as his breath hitched, telltale signs that made him realize boldness was the way to go. He was ready to move forward when their friends suddenly joined them again, effectively breaking down the little bubble of quietness they had created for themselves.

“I’m sure the girls are going to _love_ your newfound talent, Paul,” Richard said in a snarky tone, dropping down to sit next to Till, close enough that his thigh could be used as a pillow if the need arose.

There was something challenging in his eyes as he settled down, lounging under the sun and running a hand in his hair in a way that always attracted people’s attention – and today was no exception.

“Girls love flexible wrists, Scholle,” Paul retorted, holding his gaze with a challenge of his own, squinting his eyes a little.

“They sure do,” Doom muttered on the other side, Ollie laughing at his words while Flake was snickering as well, all three of the blissfully indifferent to the guitarists’ antics.

Still, there was a little smile on Till’s face that meant more to him than anything else, and he picked another stone under Ollie’s laugh, focusing on the sun that was hitting his skin – and the leg still pressed against his back, but most of all on the hand that was still lying on top of his thigh.

The stone hit the water six times before falling down under water and even Richard whistled in admiration before congratulating him, Flake’s voice turning into a pleasant buzz in his ears, the conversation drowning into a warm feeling that blanketed everything around him.

And in that moment, he felt like he was on top of the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome :)
> 
> [tumblr](https://ghostlovesc0re.tumblr.com/).


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